Have you ever hit rock bottom? That was me at 30 years old - I had legal troubles, strained relationships, little self-worth and I felt lost. I desperately needed a change. I put what I could in my life on pause and invested time into myself to find out what was wrong. 

I reflected a lot on my past, rehashing the decisions that got me to where I was. It helped me realize mistakes from my past and how that negatively affected my relationships and ability to communicate well. I decided then to better myself and really take charge of my life. I worked hard on accepting who I was and took ownership of my journey.

I focused more on how and what I said to myself, how I spoke to and reacted to others, became less judgmental and more understanding; all of which helped me rebuild my strained relationships and helped prepare me to pursue romantic relationships again. I continued on that path for the next few years. Over that time I forgave myself, gained back my self worth and confidence and decided to start dating again around 2019. 

Months later I eventually met my future wife. From the start we saw how important it is to build trust early, talk through challenges and grow together by communicating effectively. We worked to communicate better by asking for help, being more vulnerable and controlling how we responded to each other in the midst of a disagreement. Funny enough, it was our first fight, and how I handled it gave my wife pause and to say to herself, “Wow, I need to marry this man.”

Little did I know, the level of communication I showed in our relationship was unlike anything she’d ever experienced. With that we married in 2020 and our daughter was born in 2022. Over the course of the relationship I was always searching for a career that I was passionate about. One day, my wife said to me, “You communicate so well, and so easily, I don’t think you understand how good you are at it. Maybe you should look into creating a business around that and teach other people.” 

With that encouragement I began that process and started applying my methods where I could in my life to help friends, family and coworkers along the way. When Tim, my coworker, confided in me about the miscommunication issues he was having with his girlfriend, I saw it as an opportunity to share the lessons I learned from my own experiences. I told him about the importance of building trust and how effective communication could be a game changer in any relationship. I advised him to be open and vulnerable, to really listen to what his girlfriend was saying without preparing his next argument in his head.

We practiced some techniques together, like how to express his feelings clearly and how to stay calm during disagreements.

I also shared with Tim how I learned to pause and reflect during a conversation, which allows for considering the other person's perspective before responding. Over time, Tim told me that these strategies helped him and his girlfriend understand each other better and strengthened their relationship. It was gratifying to see him apply these principles and witness the positive changes they brought about in his life.

I love that story and I was so happy to help Tim. To this day, however, I always joke my wife was my first client and is without a doubt my biggest cheerleader. With her love and support I continued to work on this business idea for most of 2023. Fast forward to the end of that year and Speak Up Dude was born.